Forever Friends

When I graduated from Westport Heights Elementary School at the end of the sixth grade, my teacher gave everyone in our class a little handmade autograph book to collect each other's signatures and congratulations. After all my classmates signed the book, I asked my teacher to sign it, too. This is what she wrote: "To have a friend, you must be one."

As an eleven year old, I wondered what she meant by that. Was she implying that I needed to learn how to make friends? Did she see some deficit that needed correcting? Was there an important message in those words for me? Over the years, I've been reminded, at times, of that saying. (Here I am quoting it over 60 years later.) I've come to find out that it was good advice - and it's still true!

Friendships rarely develop without some give and take. A friendship that is built on one person doing all the giving and the other person doing all the taking usually doesn't survive for very long. To build a friendship, you must be willing to give something of yourself. And if you can be the first to reach out, that's even better.

Developing a friendship takes time. Sometimes that is actually the only requirement. Because of the time we spend at work and school, it is possible to build lifelong friendships there. Some of my dearest friends are those whose path I might never have crossed if it hadn't been for a work assignment or a commitment like a church calling, community service, or even an exercise group.  Time spent working and serving with people I wouldn't have thought I had much in common with has created some deep, lasting friendships. And because of the amount of time we have spent together, walking partners have become bosom buddies.

We often hear that this age of impersonal technology is destroying interpersonal relationships. I believe that's true to a great extent, but used wisely, it can also be used for good. Take my friend, Eva, for example. If you know me, you probably know Eva. We met in 2004 in Szazhalombatta, Hungary when I was a guest in her home for a week or so. Despite the facts that we had practically nothing in common and could hardly communicate with each other, we became immediate friends. Fast forward 15 years to the present. Because Eva learned to speak English very well (thanks, Eva!) and because Skype became available within a few years of our meeting, we now "meet" each other almost every week online and have become forever friends. When we are talking, it seems that she is in the same room with me, and I don't even think about the fact that she is halfway around the world.

Eva, Pat and Pam

Technology also keeps us close to family and friends while we serve missions. We are so blessed to be able to see our grandchildren grow and hear about what they are doing. My dearest and most precious friends are my daughters, sons-in-law and grandchildren. How grateful we are to know from past experience that even the little ones will know who we are when we return home because we are still a part of their lives no matter where we are in the world.

Technology has brought us news about what is going on at home, and has blessed us with some visits from friends who have been able to text us and make plans to meet. We spent a wonderful evening having dinner with Rich and Vicki Linton this week while they were in town. A few years ago, that wouldn't have happened easily because they would have had no idea how to find us with a temporary landline here in Anaheim. All they had to do is text the cell number they already had listed in their phones.

Through technology, we can keep in touch with dear friends and missionaries (including our wonderful sister missionaries) from our missions in Washington, D.C. and London. Even after many years, our hearts are permanently connected to them and always will be. Without technology, we would not have any idea what they are doing or where in the world they are now. Nor would we have had a visit from our great friends, the Neales (Surrey, England), at the last General Conference, and be eagerly anticipating a visit from the Kearls (Calgary, Canada) this fall. We just wish we could see them all! But technology is the next best thing.

ELSM Missionaries and friends - October 2018

Technology is already keeping us in contact with missionaries in the California Anaheim Mission. It's fun to see photos of missionaries arriving home at the end of their missions, and comforting to know that we can keep in touch with our mission president and the other office couples after we leave. We are already feeling that it will be hard to leave this terrific experience in a couple of months.

Technology also brought us a sweet surprise this weekend. We received an email from Bea and Peter Kopp who have been serving their own mission for over a year now - in Auckland, New Zealand.  (If you know us, you probably also know Bea and Peter.)  Bea is one of the daughters of  Swiss converts Don baptized on his mission in 1963. Three generations of their family and our entire family have become one big family over the years.  They wrote about us this week on their blog!

 www.swisskiwis.net (select English in the column on the right)

Without technology, we would not have known they were thinking about us. What a joy it was to read their thoughts - halfway around the world in the other direction.

Also this past week, my best friend, Pam, came to visit over the weekend. What a treat that was! Because it is her birthday this coming Thursday, I just want to say how incredibly blessed I am to have her for a friend. We've known each other since college, but our friendship really began in about 1980 when they moved back to Utah after living in Arizona and Minnesota for several years. Nearly 40 years later, she is still one of the most amazing women I have ever met. I am not the only one to be her best friend, because she knows that "to have a friend, you must be one." She goes out of her way to offer a smile, a kind word, or Y
There are so many, many people I would love to talk about in this blog. People who have been great examples to me. People who have patiently taught me and been there for me when I needed help. People who have shown unconditional love, who have gone more than the extra mile, who have smiled and laughed with me or been a shoulder to lean on. People who have served me and people who I have served. Even people I have only met in passing who have influenced me more than they will ever know.

I take great comfort in knowing that I will see them again, somewhere, somehow, and we will pick up where we left off.

      "And that same sociality which exists among us here shall exist
        among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory,
        which glory we do not now enjoy."
                                                              Doctrine & Covenants 130:2

--Pat --