Forever Friends

When I graduated from Westport Heights Elementary School at the end of the sixth grade, my teacher gave everyone in our class a little handmade autograph book to collect each other's signatures and congratulations. After all my classmates signed the book, I asked my teacher to sign it, too. This is what she wrote: "To have a friend, you must be one."

As an eleven year old, I wondered what she meant by that. Was she implying that I needed to learn how to make friends? Did she see some deficit that needed correcting? Was there an important message in those words for me? Over the years, I've been reminded, at times, of that saying. (Here I am quoting it over 60 years later.) I've come to find out that it was good advice - and it's still true!

Friendships rarely develop without some give and take. A friendship that is built on one person doing all the giving and the other person doing all the taking usually doesn't survive for very long. To build a friendship, you must be willing to give something of yourself. And if you can be the first to reach out, that's even better.

Developing a friendship takes time. Sometimes that is actually the only requirement. Because of the time we spend at work and school, it is possible to build lifelong friendships there. Some of my dearest friends are those whose path I might never have crossed if it hadn't been for a work assignment or a commitment like a church calling, community service, or even an exercise group.  Time spent working and serving with people I wouldn't have thought I had much in common with has created some deep, lasting friendships. And because of the amount of time we have spent together, walking partners have become bosom buddies.

We often hear that this age of impersonal technology is destroying interpersonal relationships. I believe that's true to a great extent, but used wisely, it can also be used for good. Take my friend, Eva, for example. If you know me, you probably know Eva. We met in 2004 in Szazhalombatta, Hungary when I was a guest in her home for a week or so. Despite the facts that we had practically nothing in common and could hardly communicate with each other, we became immediate friends. Fast forward 15 years to the present. Because Eva learned to speak English very well (thanks, Eva!) and because Skype became available within a few years of our meeting, we now "meet" each other almost every week online and have become forever friends. When we are talking, it seems that she is in the same room with me, and I don't even think about the fact that she is halfway around the world.

Eva, Pat and Pam

Technology also keeps us close to family and friends while we serve missions. We are so blessed to be able to see our grandchildren grow and hear about what they are doing. My dearest and most precious friends are my daughters, sons-in-law and grandchildren. How grateful we are to know from past experience that even the little ones will know who we are when we return home because we are still a part of their lives no matter where we are in the world.

Technology has brought us news about what is going on at home, and has blessed us with some visits from friends who have been able to text us and make plans to meet. We spent a wonderful evening having dinner with Rich and Vicki Linton this week while they were in town. A few years ago, that wouldn't have happened easily because they would have had no idea how to find us with a temporary landline here in Anaheim. All they had to do is text the cell number they already had listed in their phones.

Through technology, we can keep in touch with dear friends and missionaries (including our wonderful sister missionaries) from our missions in Washington, D.C. and London. Even after many years, our hearts are permanently connected to them and always will be. Without technology, we would not have any idea what they are doing or where in the world they are now. Nor would we have had a visit from our great friends, the Neales (Surrey, England), at the last General Conference, and be eagerly anticipating a visit from the Kearls (Calgary, Canada) this fall. We just wish we could see them all! But technology is the next best thing.

ELSM Missionaries and friends - October 2018

Technology is already keeping us in contact with missionaries in the California Anaheim Mission. It's fun to see photos of missionaries arriving home at the end of their missions, and comforting to know that we can keep in touch with our mission president and the other office couples after we leave. We are already feeling that it will be hard to leave this terrific experience in a couple of months.

Technology also brought us a sweet surprise this weekend. We received an email from Bea and Peter Kopp who have been serving their own mission for over a year now - in Auckland, New Zealand.  (If you know us, you probably also know Bea and Peter.)  Bea is one of the daughters of  Swiss converts Don baptized on his mission in 1963. Three generations of their family and our entire family have become one big family over the years.  They wrote about us this week on their blog!

 www.swisskiwis.net (select English in the column on the right)

Without technology, we would not have known they were thinking about us. What a joy it was to read their thoughts - halfway around the world in the other direction.

Also this past week, my best friend, Pam, came to visit over the weekend. What a treat that was! Because it is her birthday this coming Thursday, I just want to say how incredibly blessed I am to have her for a friend. We've known each other since college, but our friendship really began in about 1980 when they moved back to Utah after living in Arizona and Minnesota for several years. Nearly 40 years later, she is still one of the most amazing women I have ever met. I am not the only one to be her best friend, because she knows that "to have a friend, you must be one." She goes out of her way to offer a smile, a kind word, or Y
There are so many, many people I would love to talk about in this blog. People who have been great examples to me. People who have patiently taught me and been there for me when I needed help. People who have shown unconditional love, who have gone more than the extra mile, who have smiled and laughed with me or been a shoulder to lean on. People who have served me and people who I have served. Even people I have only met in passing who have influenced me more than they will ever know.

I take great comfort in knowing that I will see them again, somewhere, somehow, and we will pick up where we left off.

      "And that same sociality which exists among us here shall exist
        among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory,
        which glory we do not now enjoy."
                                                              Doctrine & Covenants 130:2

--Pat --

Finding Our Way

Everywhere we look in Los Angeles there are signs telling us where to go or not to go. Since we travel regularly throughout the mission to inspect missionary apartments and renew leases, we see and rely on many signs.  They direct us to enter and exit the many freeways and streets that crisscross our mission from Garden Grove to Yorba Linda, from Irvine to Fullerton, from Anaheim to Orange, and from Tustin to Santa Anna. Pat and I have had to rely on each other to read and interpret signs in order to avoid false turns, accidents, and traffic jams.

While driving in Washington, D.C., London, and now in Los Angeles, we have also learned to rely on our dependable GPS (SatNav), the satellite-based Global Positioning System that tells us where we are and maps out the best route to get us where we'd like to go. The GPS satellite system is based on science and is extremely accurate in calculating speed, distance, location, traffic conditions, and trip time. Multiple GPS satellites circle the earth twice a day in precise orbits. Receivers gather this information to determine a user's exact position and display it electronically to measure distances, destinations, and traffic routes.

Sometimes I tell Pat we don't need the GPS because I know where we are going and I can get us there. After many missed turns, I have now learned to abandon my ego and confess that the GPS lady always knows best. We now listen to her voice instead of my intuition, which saves us much time and frustration.

It's kind of like finding the humility to seek the spirit and follow the instructions of a loving Father in Heaven even when I think I know best. He always has the bigger picture and is more powerful than any GPS. His signs of warning and guidance are more significant than any man-made plan or directional signs. His instructions come from the scriptures and through living prophets.  His interest in us is far greater than helping us to get from one place to another on a map, and missing His directions will have far greater consequences than making the wrong turn on a freeway. 

When Lehi left his tent one morning, he recorded that he discovered on the ground "a round ball of curious workmanship; and it was of fine brass. And within the ball were two spindles; and the one pointed the way whither we should go into the wilderness" to the Promised Land (1 Nephi 16:10). It was called the Liahona, which translated means a compass. The Liahona gave both physical directions and spiritual instructions.  It worked according to faith and diligence.  Nephi said directions "given upon the ball" led him to the top of a mountain as well as to "the more fertile parts of the wilderness" in his hunt for wild game.

Having the faith, desire, and ability to follow the Liahona gave Nephi and his people both physical and spiritual protection.  We don't have the Liahona to guide us.  However, we are blessed with the science and technology of a working GPS, as well as many signs, freeways, and amazing vehicles to get us safely and efficiently from one place to another.  I am truly grateful for these conveniences.

I am most thankful, however, to have the blessings of the restored gospel that teach us of a loving Father and Savior who give us direction, faith and hope each day to overcome the fears, struggles,  and worries of a world in chaos.

--Don--

Life Can't Always Make You Happy...

Elder Klebingat

This past weekend, a new stake president was called in the Anaheim Stake, so we had visiting authorities at our meetings. What a treat it was to attend both the Saturday night and Sunday morning sessions of Stake Conference!  

It was the first time we have heard Elder Jorg Klebingat speak. He was born and raised in Germany, a convert to the Church at the age of 18. In 2014 he was called as a General Authority Seventy. We were so inspired by Elder Kelbingat's messages and his bold, engaging personality!

He began by commenting on the new home centered/Church supported learning program.  He said it's as if the Lord is saying to us, "I can see that you can get yourself to church every Sunday, but now I want to know how you really feel about Me and your commitment to the gospel when you are on your own." He gave the example of branches/wards in Eastern Ukraine, where he served as mission president. He said that because of the recent changes in government, all church buildings have been taken away from the members and they must meet on their own now. There are no more organized meetings in church meetinghouses, but the work is going forward.

Elder Klebingat promised that this challenge to study as individuals and families, as well as daily family scripture reading WILL BRING BLESSINGS TO INDIVIDUAL FAMILY MEMBERS. We are being given a clearer perspective and an opportunity to unleash the power of families. As we spend time studying together, we will strenghten family relationships and our love for each other in our families. As we remodel our homes into gospel learning centers, we are preparing for the Second Coming. This is more than a simple logistical change in Church programs, it is a critical step. There are not many safe places in this world anymore, except inside the walls of our homes. This is basic training from Heavenly Father so that we can call down those blessings we will need.

President Nelson has said, "In a coming day, only those men who have taken their priesthood seriously, by diligently seeking to be taught by the Lord Himself, will be able to bless, guide, protect, strengthen, and heal... [and] to bring miracles to those he loves and keep his marriage and family safe, now and throughout eternity." (Russell M. Nelson, The Price of Priesthood Power, April 2016)

Elder Klebingat said that there is an urgency in President Nelson's counsel. As the prophet, he has made more references to the Second Coming than those who have gone before - both in public and in private.

In our October 2018 General Conference, President Nelson said, "The assaults of the adversary are increasing exponentially, in intensity and in variety. Our need to be in the temple on a regular basis has never been greater. I plead with you to take a prayerful look at how you spend your time. Invest time in your future and in that of your family. If you have reasonable access to a temple, I urge you to find a way to make an appointment regularly with the Lord - to be in His holy house - then keep that appointment with exactness and joy. I PROMISE YOU THAT THE LORD WILL BRING MIRACLES HE KNOWS YOU NEED AS YOU MAKE SACRIFICES TO SERVE AND WORSHIP IN HIS TEMPLES."

President Christensen of the Newport Beach Temple presidency also said at our Stake Conference, "Performing temple ordinances changes eternity." He told us that there has been a change in how names are being prepared for temple work. In the past, 80% of names came from extraction projects and only 20% were from personal research. Those statistics have reversed.

Elder Klebingat said that what the Lord needs from all of us is a commitment to be all in - under all circumstances. God will not trick us into entering His kingdom. We will enter by our desires only. It is a time to choose to come out of the world because there is no neutral ground anymore. We cannot be in both worlds. We cannot ride into paradise on a golf cart! We will be tried. This is hard work, but we can find the truth on our knees. A broken heart and a contrite spirit will bind us to God. Our diligence in keeping God's commandments demonstrates our love for Him and for our Savior. The greatest gift He came to give us is the atonement. Accept it. Allow healing. You can be loved and forgiven while you are in the process of repenting. Claim it.  

At the end of Elder Klebingat's counsel, I was reminded of something I read just two weeks ago from another Seventy, Elder Larry Corbridge, when he spoke at a BYU Devotional. He said, "The Lord's way is not hard. Life is hard, not the gospel....  Life is hard for all of us, but life is also simple. We have only two choices. We can either follow the Lord and be endowed with His power and have peace, light, strength, knowledge, confidence, love, and joy, or we can go some other way, any other way, whatever other way, and go it alone - without His support, without His power, without guidance, in darkness, turmoil, doubt, grief, and despair. And I ask, which way is easier?"  

While it's true that life can't always make you happy, the gospel of Jesus Christ can!

-- Pat --

Valentine's Day

Yesterday was Valentine's Day, a day to share our love.  The stores have aisles and aisles of heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, red roses, white carnations, and valentine balloons, candies, and rows of colorful cards to send to loved ones and friends on this special day.  Our mission office has been flooded again this week with boxes, gifts, and cards for the missionaries -- not as much as during Christmas time, but carrying important messages of love which the elders and sisters need and appreciate.




















I love Valentine's Day!  Other than Christmas and Easter, which are very special holidays because they center on the Savior's birth and His resurrection, Valentine's Day and Thanksgiving are my favorite holidays because they focus on love and gratitude. What's to celebrate about Ground Hog Day, anyway? On this Valentine's Day, I'd like to share a few personal thoughts about love.

I have learned that people come to love those they serve. Missionaries who forget themselves and serve others will soon learn to love them. They will be effective missionaries as their love is felt and reciprocated. Love is an automatic consequence of service. It happens in all human relationships -- missionary service, acts of kindness, church callings, and in marriage.  Most people, including missionaries, have a variety of concerns, worries, and fears, even anxiety at times. Yet Moroni tells us that "perfect love casteth out all fear (8-16)."

Many who serve faithfully in church callings are sad when released because they will miss those they have served, whether it was on a mission, in Primary, Relief Society, YM/YW or as bishop.  When your bishop, youth adviser, or Primary teacher says he or she loves you, believe them. They mean it. They love you because of the time they have spent serving you. Some of my dearest friends, those I love most, are a friend I baptized in high school and a young couple I met and baptized 55 years ago in Switzerland, including their children and grandchildren who have been lifelong friends.

Most young couples who "fall in love" and get married are quite sure that they love each other.  I knew I loved Pat when we got married, but the love I feel for her now far exceeds how I felt about her when we were engaged and newly married.  As I have learned to serve her, my selfish concerns have decreased, and our love has grown. We have learned that relying on each other while serving together as missionaries has deepened the love in our marriage and increased our capacity to love.

There are many great examples of love among couples in our South Jordan neighborhood who have been married for many years. As they get older, they show us how to care for each other with patience, kindness, and love. You can just feel the love they have for each other as their health begins to decline and the love, tender care, attention and concern they give each other increases.

There are also other kinds of love, not usually considered on Valentine's Day.

After Jesus was risen from the dead and dined with his disciples, he asked Simon Peter three times, "Lovest thou me?" Three times Peter answered in the affirmative, and each time the Savior saith unto him, "Feed my sheep."  (John 21:15-17).  He was talking about service. The Savior asked us to"love one another, as I have loved you" and told us,"greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends." (John 15: 12-13).  It seems to me the best way we can come to know and love the Savior is to serve Him throughout our lives by the way we treat and respect others. 

I can't comprehend or understand how the Savior was able to take the sins of the world upon himself in Gethsemane and bear the awful pains of the crucifixion on Golgotha. I believe He was able to endure only because of the complete and amazing love He had for us, as well as His love for and resolute desire to do the will of His Father.  Consider also the love our Father must have for us, to allow His only begotten son to suffer and die for us.

I now think Valentine's Day ranks right up there with Christmas and Easter because of its focus on love. And the greatest demonstration of love we have is the love of the Savior, given freely to every person. He is waiting for us to trust Him enough to ask for His love and help.

To me, Valentine's Day is far more than chocolate hearts, cards, flowers, and balloons, though I love to send and receive cards and gifts. To the extent that this day causes us to think about others and to share love and kindness, and to remember the love our Savior has for us, it will continue to be one of my favorite holidays.

-- Don --
     

    

       

We love Monday mornings!

During the first couple of weeks after we arrived here at the mission office, Monday mornings were crazy!

Monday is P-Day (Preparation Day) for the elders and sisters, and most of them come into the mission office sometime during that day to check mail, pick up supplies, wash their cars, get haircuts, and write emails to their families. Sometimes they meet with President Golden or with Elder Tomlinson who volunteers each Monday to work with elders and sisters wanting advice on post-mission college and university admissions. Depending on missionary schedules, it can get pretty crowded in the mission office!

At first, it seemed like we were constantly being distracted from the work we were supposed to be doing on Mondays, and I was starting to get frustrated, but then I stepped back and took a better look at things....  "Wait a minute, here. Assisting the elders and sisters with what they need when they visit the mission office on Mondays is EXACTLY what I am supposed to be doing!"

The elders and sisters are the heart of our mission; they are the heart of every mission. Their energy, their enthusiasm, their testimonies, and their passion for what they are doing is contagious! It is a joy to watch them walk in each Monday and I look forward to doing whatever I can to help them with what they need that particular morning.

Monday mornings are still crazy, but Mondays have become my favorite day of the week!

Meeting with Sister Rhine about cars and referrals.

Each companionship is allowed one gallon of water to wash
their car. (About 2/3 of our companionships are in cars.)
I wonder if they will be allowed more water in the future
 since we've had so much rain this winter?

There are usually a few welcome snacks around...

Past companions often get to see each other again and
catch up on what's been happening in their areas.

We distribute cleaning supplies for missionary apartments.

These sisters created a new bulletin board for the
mission office last week.

Everybody's favorite spot is the mail cupboards.
Letters and packages are organized by zones.
I love watching and listening when the missionaries
realize there is something there for them!

Mondays are happy days around the mission office.

Guess who got mail?

Elders and sisters preparing for the coming week. 

Last week we had the privilege of picking up
two sister missionaries from Temple Square
who will serve in our mission for three months.
They left Salt Lake in a massive snowstorm
and walked out of John Wayne Airport to
sunshine and palm trees!

My favorite quote from last week's morning devotionals.

Happy Valentines Day from us to you!

--Pat--

Nuts and Bolts of Missionary Work

Although this is not our first mission as a senior couple, there are many things about missionary work we knew little about when we were called to serve in the California Anaheim Mission.  Called as MLS missionaries, but reassigned by our mission president to work in the office as housing coordinators, we had much to learn.  We could not have foreseen how much satisfaction we would find in the "nuts  and bolts" of missionary work in this area.  Here are a few examples that make our service meaningful:

   -  Securing and renewing apartment lease agreements for fair prices that allow missionaries to have clean, safe places to live.
   -   Keeping contracts up to date on IMOS, the church computer system, so that the mission financial coordinator can arrange for Salt Lake to make monthly rental payments on time.
   -   Maintaining rental spreadsheets in zones and areas that allow the president to make informed missionary assignments and transfers to best serve the wards and stakes in the mission.
   -   Conducting periodic apartment inspections to encourage habit of tidiness, health, and safety that will help missionaries stay clean and healthy now and throughout their lives.
   -   Keeping cleaning supplies, cooking utensils, and other items stocked in the mission office for missionaries to pick up and use in their apartments.
   -   Learning to repair vacuum cleaners, replace belts, and fix light poles, lamps, tables, chairs and chests of drawers owned by the mission.
   -   Installing and testing smoke alarms and carbon monoxide sensors to ensure missionary safety.
   -   Ordering parts and fixing appliances, refrigerator doors, and microwaves owned by the mission.
   -   Working with leasing offices to make certain that carpets are periodically cleaned and other maintenance agreements upheld.

Some of the missionaries in the California Anaheim Mission

Pat and I have enjoyed completing these assignments in housing that help the missionaries in their work.  We love interacting with the young missionaries whenever we see them -- in the office, on the streets, in their apartments, or at church.  They lift our spirits as we try to assist them. The two other senior couples in the office have similar experiences working with the missionaries while caring for mission automobiles and bikes, referrals, finances, and secretarial duties.

We also enjoy attending the Anaheim 4th Ward, where we have weekly visitors attend our meetings while coming to Disneyland.  This is a very diverse and inclusive ward with a wonderful welcoming bishop.  As an assistant clerk for memberships, I have the opportunity to work with Pat and the ward leaders to welcome and assist members moving in and out of the area.

Two weeks ago I called on a young man in his early 40s who hadn't been to church for several years, though he had previously served a mission to France.  He is a USC graduate, and since I had previously worked at USC, we had much to talk about, including Tommy Trojan and USC football.  We also talked about his mission, the recent dedication of the Paris Temple, his life and goals, and his love for the gospel.  Last week he came to Sacrament meeting on his own and remained for the Sunday School discussion.

One of our joys is taking a 17 year-old young woman to church each week and giving her weekly lessons on gospel topics.  She has a baptism date set for her 18th birthday this fall.  She is full of love and excitement for the church, reads the Book of Mormon, and is looking forward to her baptism.

Another unexpected blessing from our mission to Anaheim is that our apartment is located only two blocks from the University of California Irvine Medical Center, where I have been seeing an outstanding Rheumatologist, who has helped me overcome some issues affecting my hands and fingers.

There are so many blessings that come to senior couples serving missions.  Anyone with even the slightest interest in serving a senior mission should contact the LDS website for senior missionaries at    https://seniormissionary.lds.org/srsite.   This website allows members to search listings by service priority, length of service, monthly cost, geographic regions, language, and whether special medical care is required.  There are 30 different kinds of full-time missions available, as well as numerous part-time service mission opportunities.  Each mission is meaningful and unique, with many unforeseen blessings attached. 

Perhaps the greatest blessing of our mission has been the closeness Pat and I have felt in our marriage while serving others full-time.  We have stayed in regular contact with family members by phone, internet, and Skype, but we have especially appreciated the unity we have experienced working as a couple, planning, talking, and serving the people we meet each day.  We also treasure the time we've had together to take in the good weather and the unique culture of Southern California.

   --  Don

No Man Is An Island

Sometimes missionaries have to return home early. It can happen for any number of reasons. One of our missionaries was called home by his country to serve in the military before his mission release date. Others leave with unexpected injuries, illnesses, or other health conditions - either physical and emotional. Some leave to go home because the demands of missionary life are more than they can handle. A few simply do not or cannot abide by missionary standards of conduct. There are probably as many reasons as there are early returning missionaries.

Early releases happen in every mission. And while it is an ending for those of us who must say goodbye, it is just the beginning of a new chapter for the missionary. Every mission served, no matter how short or how long, is a blessing not only to the people they served, but to the missionary. Whether they served for seven days, seven months, or seventeen months, they served, they learned, and they grew. As in all walks of life, God is pleased with our every effort.

Whatever the reason, it is hard on everyone who knows and loves a missionary to watch as they depart - and most missionaries have no idea how many people that involves, or how many people truly care about them! Many hearts are affected throughout a mission as a missionary returns home, regardless of the length of time served.

I am quite certain that no returning missionary ever really knows how many lives he or she touched. Actually, I am quite certain that is true for all humankind as we live our lives day to day.

There are many different kinds of comings and goings in life. During the last month, four dear friends of ours have lost their husbands to death. While reflecting on these good men at the time of their passing, Don and I have recalled many wonderful times spent with them and many life lessons learned from their noble examples. Because we have not been home to attend these men's funerals, we have sent cards with a brief note about their influence in our lives. It hasn't done them justice. Oh, how I wish we had expressed our respect and love in more detail while they were alive!

I have been to more than one funeral where I looked around the chapel and observed that the person who has passed would be quite surprised to see the size of the congregation and the number of people whose lives he or she influenced - which has given me pause to consider the question:  Why do we often wait until someone is gone to express our gratitude for them and recognize how much they mean to us?

It doesn't just happen in the mission field. So often, we don't take the time to tell people how grateful we are for them and how their life has affected ours for good. Maybe we're afraid to express emotion. Maybe the busyness of life distracts us. Maybe pride stops us. Maybe we don't even recognize their influence until it is gone. Who knows?

What a better place the world would be if we took the time to let others know what they mean to us on a more regular basis.

As John Donne so admirably wrote around the year 1600:
"No man is an island,
Entire of itself;
Every man is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less,
As well as if a promontory were,
As well as if thine friend's were.
Each man's death diminished me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee."

--Pat--